Groucho Marx

amerikansk skuespiller (1890-1977)

Julius Henry (Groucho) Marx(2. oktober 1890 - 19. august 1977)

Julius Henry (Groucho) Marx
Biografi på Wikipedia
Værker på Wikisource
Billeder, videoer og lydfiler på Wikicommons
Amerikansk skuespiller. Han var en af komikerne fra truppen Marx Brothers, og med deres film fra 1930'erne og 1940'erne opnåede han sammen med brødrene verdensberømmelse.


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    Jeg tror at sex er kommet for at blive

• A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

• Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

• Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

• From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

• Go, and never darken my towels again.

• I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

• I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.


• I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

• It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

• Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

• Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

• Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

• My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

• She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

• Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

• Women should be obscene and not heard.

• I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

• No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

• In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. • I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

• She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.

• There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

• Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

• Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

• Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

• I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

• The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

• She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

• You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

• While hunting in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant got into my pajamas I'll never know.

• Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.

• I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

• Here's to our girlfriends and wives; may they never meet!

• I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

• You are only as old as the woman you feel.

• Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?

• Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows--marriage does.

• I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

• Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.

• You'll be hearing from my lawyer as soon as he graduates from law school!

• I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.

• The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

• If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

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